On My Own

I lay in bed. The bright moonlight crept in through the window, shining through the curtain. It was like a picture book night. Just the right temperature. Cold enough for a sheet but too warm for a blanket. It was that night that I decided that I needed to be alone, or at least mostly alone. It was hard to do that in my house, I have six brothers and four sisters. Eleven kids in all, counting me. I, Rachel, was the oldest at twelve. Sam and Adam twins followed at ten. Next came Sara, nine, then Brian, eight. Katie, my favorite, was seven, followed by Kathryn six, Jessie five, John four, and Willie, who was going to be four in two months.

I decided what I had to do. I planned carefully and finally decided what I was going to take: My bicycle, bike rack and panniers for carrying things. Seven blankets, a bungee cord, three pairs of wool socks, matches, fire starters, a lighter, four sets of clothes, a cooking pot, four big full water bottles, an extra pair of shoes, a pair of shorts, a tarp, a sleeping bag and pad, flashlight and batteries, and a pocket knife. For food I was bringing apples, crackers, carrots, bread, peanut butter, cocoa mix, bagels, marshmallows, and skittles. I would also carry a back pack on my back and take two trips. I was going to leave a week from Sunday. The reason I planned it this way was because next Friday was the last day of school. Then summer vacation would begin.

That last week seemed to crawl by. The first day of it was easily the most boring. First, in the morning we were called to the multi-purpose room to hear stories written by the first-graders. Most of them went something like this: "Today me and my doggy are going fishing. Then we are going to come home and play hide and go seek. Then we will play a game with my mommy and daddy. Then we’re going back to the creek to go swimming. Then me, my doggy, my teddy bear, and my sister are going to play ring around the rosy. I like my doggy. The end." Even though the stories were short, it still took awhile to get through them because the first graders can’t read very well. I thought that the person who read the best was my little sister Kathryn, though she easily had the most boring story.

On the second day we, the six-graders, had to read our stories aloud. That morning I had told my mom that I was sick. She didn’t believe me. Her exact words were, "Rachel, you’re not sick."

"Mom I feel awful," I told her.

Again, she didn’t believe me. "You can go to the school nurse when you get there." So here I was getting ready to read my story. Two people ahead of me. One.

"Rachel." I stood and walked to the front of the multi-purpose room. Clearing my throat I began to read: "It was a Sunday morning and I had just woken up. The sun was bright and hot on my face. The sheet I was sleeping on was damp from my sweaty body. Kicking off the sheet on top of me, I got lazily out of bed. I peered down the hallway and saw my five-year-old little sister walking down the hall in her footed pajamas. Across the room from me my nine-year-old sister slept. I tiptoed out of the room so I would not wake her and walked down the silent hallway to the bathroom. The wood floor was cold on my feet. Walking past the boys’ room, the girls’ room, and the other boys’ room, finally reaching the bathroom, I went in, brushed my hair and teeth, washed my face and headed down for breakfast. After eating, I walked back up the stairs and took a shower…."

Once I finished reading, I sat down and fell into a sort of daydream. I dreamed about what my trip was going to be like: first I would bike to the wood a mile behind our house. There I planned to sleep in the cave I had played in when I was little and went to my friend Melanie’s house.

"Rachel." I was jerked out of my daydream by someone calling my name. "Rachel," the voice repeated.

"What?" I answered.

"It’s time to go back to class."

We proceeded to have math, reading, writing, social studies, and finally a spelling test.

The third day, Wednesday, proceeded in much the same manner, except the third graders read this time. Thursday and Friday crept by also. Finally, it was the weekend.

It was Saturday afternoon. Mom and Dad had gone shoe shopping with the other kids. I already had shoes, so I was left at home. That was okay with me. I was getting ready to leave for the second time. I decided at the last minute to throw in 4 books and a deck of cards, in case I got bored.

After packing all my stuff onto my bike, I wrote a short note saying that I needed to be alone. The last thing I packed was my $76 in case I ran out of food. Wheeling my bike out of the garage just as my parents pulled in, I yelled to them that I was going for a short ride. Without waiting for an answer, I hopped on and pedaled off. I, twelve year old Rachel, was on my own.

The first part of my trip went exactly as I had planned. I rode into the wood and after a quick search, found the cave again. I set right to work on making it so I could live there. First, I found some weavable branches and wove them into something like a door. Then I set up my sleeping bag and pad on the floor. I swept and arranged my bike and food in an orderly fashion.

Ready for my first meal in the cave, I collected some firewood and twigs, started a fire, and put water in the pan to heat for cocoa. I put on my warm clothes and wrapped myself in a blanket. I pulled my sleeping bag and pad into a place closer to the fire. Even so, I was cold. I piled my seven blankets on top and was able to get warm.

I got out of bed in the middle of the night. The coldness of the cave crept through my long underwear which I had decided to pack at the last minute. Glad I had packed them, I loaded the fire with wood and twigs, careful to leave a little wood in case it rained tomorrow and I could not find any dry. I crept back to my sleeping bag and was glad for the tingly warm feeling as I fell between dozing and sleep.

The fire was out when I awoke the next morning. Glancing at my watch, which I had forgotten about, I saw that it was well past ten. I grabbed an apple and munched on it as I went outside to gather firewood. After gathering a considerable amount of wood, I went inside, got my tarp, and put it over the door, leaving a small space for the smoke from my fire to get out. I left the hole in a way that no matter what way the rain came, it would never come in. Then I realized there was a small hole in the ceiling so I moved the tarp to cover the whole opening. The hole let in enough light to see by.

I reached into my pocket and felt the knife. I took it out and opened each tool. When I got to the knife blade, I ran my fingers up and down the smooth, shiny metal.

Tired, even though it was twelve o’clock noon, I fed the fire and crawled into my sleeping bag. When I awoke hours later, the sun was just setting. Still drowsy with sleep, I mumbled "I’m hungry…need food." Suddenly a blast of cold air finished waking me and I sat up. The wind had blown my door down. Glad that I had moved the tarp to the inside of the door, I leapt up and scrambled after it. Catching it, I folded it into a square and set to work fixing the branches of my door. Work was slow because of the wind, and my stomach rumbled, reminding me of my hunger over and over. I would not stop until I was done. I needed the shelter the door provided.

It was around 7:30 when I finally finished. I spread a piece of bread with peanut butter and got a handful of crackers. My hunger settled at last, I got out a deck of cards and played solitaire. At 10, I got into my sleeping bag.

Around the middle of the night I felt drops on my face and awoke. Still too sleepy to know where I was, I moaned "Sam, Adam, Brian will you cut it out? I’ll get up." True to my word, I groggily sat up. Drip. Splat. "I said cut it out." Waking up further, I realized I wasn’t at home and Sam, Adam, and Brian weren’t dripping water on me. It was raining and I had forgotten to put the tarp back over the door. Unwillingly, I got out of my sleeping bag. Once again, the cold bit at my legs through my long underwear. I put the tarp back over the door, though I was too sleepy to do a good job.

I awoke the next morning, cooked a bagel over the fire, and had a cup of cocoa. Warmed, I set about drying the three blankets that were in the way of the rain last night by hanging them over the rope I brought. By using a few notches in the sharp wall of the cave, I was able to dry them in a very short time.

I put an apple in my pocket and added a bagel in case I got hungry outside. Once I had gathered firewood, stacked it neatly against the wall in the cave, and smothered my fire, I went exploring. First I took a small, unused trail. It led to a clearing. I trampled down a lot of grass where I was. The grass was short so it was easy to see where I had walked on it. Figuring that I wouldn’t get lost, I walked all around the clearing.

It was a cheerful, sunny afternoon, and the birds were all singing their own songs. I loved the way the sun fell on the edge of the clearing. It created patterns of bright and dark, kind of like a chessboard. I was lost in thought and did not notice the setting sun. It was dusk before I realized how late it was.

The clearing was small, but looked alike everywhere. I decided to follow the edge until I found the patch of grass and small trail I had come on. I walked slowly looking for the spot but not finding it. I felt like I was going around in the same small area, not around the whole clearing. I kept going until dark and then I dropped to the ground in utter weariness. I woke in early morning from hunger. Allowing myself an apple, I fell back asleep. I woke again at noon and started my rounds of the clearing. Half an hour later, I finally found traces of the path. With relief in every step I took, I headed back.

Reaching the cave, I saw that some animal had been there and hoped that it had not done any damage to my stuff. At first look, I thought it had not. On closer inspection, I found my box of crackers missing. Going outside, I found crumbs. I picked them up as best I could, sure that their smell would bring other animals. I got back on the path, ran halfway to the clearing, took five steps into the woods and dropped them.

My throat burned from lack of water, so I headed back. Picking up a water bottle, I drained half of it. Taking another half-full one, I poured it into the bottle I just drank from. I took the empty bottle and set it outside to catch rainwater.

After I left them they seemed to fall to pieces. Dad told me later what happened. When Mom read my note she started to sob, "What have we done wrong? What have we done wrong?"

"Nothing Helen, nothing Helen," my dad comforted. "She’s capable of looking out for herself, we can only hope that the police find her."

"The Police," screamed my mother. "We’re not calling the police." My dad knew better than to argue, and he left it at that. He decided to tell everyone, not just the older kids, what had happened and what I had done.

Upon hearing the news, Katie, Kathryn, Jessie, John, and Willie began to cry. Sara did nothing and Sam, Adam, and Brian cheered. Dad said he could almost hear what they were thinking. They were thinking, one girl gone, four to go.

Shortly after being told of my disappearance everyone stopped crying. Jessie was confused. What had happened to Rachel? She didn’t understand. Katie, too, was confused. Rachel loved her, she said so herself, Katie thought, so why did she leave? Kathryn was also confused. What made it worse for all three of them was that every time they went past Sam, Adam, or Brian, they heard, "Rachel’s gone, Rachel’s gone."

Mother finally got over her shock and took control. She put a stop to the boys’ teasing and calmed everyone. The one thing that mom kept insisting on was that the police were not getting involved. Dad argued with her, but she would not change her mind. So it was just my parents searching for me.

Sam and Adam were supposed to be searching, though I doubt they really did. Katie, Kathryn and Jessie calmed down for a day, but began to worry again on the second day. Mother still insisted that the police were not getting involved. Dad went out and started looking around the edge of the woods. Later, he said that he’d forgotten that there was anywhere to hide in the woods. He came back and told Sam and Adam that it was their turn to search the woods.

Dad started to search at a new place and worked his way back towards where he left the boys. On hearing a shout, he raced toward the sound, only to see Sam and Adam horsing around. He yelled, "Will you two stop playing around? Your sister is missing. Do you even care?"

"No," replied both boys without thinking, "but we care about our game."

"Go home at once and tell your mother what happened. If you don’t tell her, I will."

The boys raced home, glad not to have to search anymore. All Sam and Adam told mother when they got home was that I had not been found, and dad was still looking.

Dad got home two hours later. He was surprised to see the boys sitting on the couch watching TV. Upon dad’s entering the living room, both boys looked up simultaneously and said, "Hi, dad." Though trying for an "I haven’t a care in the world" effect, they both sounded quite scared.

Dad went to talk to mom, and upon hearing the story, she broke down sobbing, "If you haven’t found her in two days, we’ll call the police."

I was low on firewood, and it looked like it was going to rain for a while. I got out my pocketknife and began to hack at a log lying on the ground. It took an hour to get a reasonable sized piece cut off, and another half to tow it back to the cave. Afraid it would rain, I gathered twigs and stacked them neatly before beginning to cut the log piece into smaller pieces. I was done by 7.

For dinner I had dried fruit, an apple, a bagel with peanut butter, and marshmallows that I toasted over the fire. Halfway through my dinner it began to rain hard, not just sprinkle. I scrambled to put up the tarp and almost stepped on a squirrel running for my food. I was full, and I let him eat my crumbs from dinner while I put up the tarp.

Returning to my fire, I ate a few marshmallows, shooed the squirrel outside, and crawled into my sleeping bag. I fell asleep right away and did not wake up the whole night.

The next morning I did not feel so good, and after thinking for quite awhile, I decided that the reason I felt bad was that I was homesick. Homesick for mom and dad, Katie, Kathryn, Jessie, Willie, John, Sarah, and I realized, even Sam, Adam and Brian. It was raining hard and I decided to wait until it stopped to go home. I spent an hour looking at the rain and wondering if it would ever stop.

Not hungry, I skipped lunch. Over the rest of the afternoon, I read three books and played a few games of cards. Bored, I looked out from under the tarp and saw that it had stopped raining. Afraid it would start again soon, I pushed open my door-like thing and scrambled out into the wood surrounding the cave. The gentle breeze felt good compared to the hot stuffy cave.

Split. Splat. It was raining again. I raced for the cover the cave provided. I had walked a little ways from the cave and though I ran back as fast as I could, I still got drenched. I changed into my last set of clothes. I hung my wet ones on a rope by the fire. Cold, I was glad for the hotness of the cave. I wrung my hair out several times and then wrapped it in a blanket. I was hungry so I ate a bagel and an apple. I sat there by the fire for a while, watching the flames dance over the fire place and hearing the crackling as they vanished to the ceiling.

Boom! Boom! Thunder. The whole sky lit up. Lightening then thunder. I counted the seconds between them. Five seconds. One mile; it was close. Frightened, I hurried into my sleeping bag, piling all the blankets but the one on my hair on top of me. I shivered but was not cold. Flash, boom. Four seconds; it was coming closer. Flash, boom. Six seconds. It was moving away. Then it was gone. It vanished just like the sun did when it went behind a cloud.

I barely slept that night and kept waking up cold. Finally around midnight, I realized that the reason I was cold was that all my blankets were on the ground next to me, not on me. I pulled them up and was warm enough to sleep.

Waking up in the morning, I was dismayed to see that it was still raining hard. I can wait another day, I thought, as I sat down discouraged on my sleeping bag. I picked up my book, read a few pages and threw it down. Bored, I occupied myself by watching the sky. Clouds were everywhere you looked and you could only see clear sky by looking at the horizon line. I watched the clouds come and go, change shapes, and disappear behind other clouds until I was stiff from my cramped position, and my eyes were sore from staring at the clouds.

I crept back to my fire and ate an apple plus a bagel. Tired, I slept. Waking up later, I was shocked to find my fire out and wood supply gone. Since I was hungry, I looked for the bagels and saw that I was out of them too.

Instead, I ate bread and carrots. The carrots were sweet and juicy. Without thinking, I ate the whole bag and then polished off a bag of skittles. My stomach hurt from too much food, and I went back to watching the clouds. I watched for an hour and then played cards for another hour.

It stopped raining and I ran out to get wood. Drip, drop. I ran to my cave, taking along my wood. I had only had time to gather a few pieces and I decided to wait to use them until I was thirsty and wanted hot cocoa.

Thirsty now, but not cold, I drank part of a water bottle and put my two empty ones outside to catch rain water. Half an hour later I took the now full water bottles inside and got soaking wet. Cold, I used my precious wood and started a fire. Heating water, I mixed and drank cocoa. The fire went out and, still damp, I crawled into my sleeping bag and slept.

The next morning dawned clear and I started preparing my bike for the long ride home. I fastened my panniers to the sides of my bike and stuffed one full of my sleeping bag and pad. In the other, I put all my dirty clothes, my water bottles, three blankets, flashlight and batteries. On my bike rack I put a tarp and four blankets, using my rope and bungee cord to bind them. Everything else went in my backpack. It was heavier than I would have liked, but it all fit. As I pedaled home, I could not stop thinking about my parents.

I rode along the street, my heart hammering, until at last I turned my handlebars and pulled into my driveway. A lump rose in my throat as I walked to the front door and pulled it open. There stood my father. He was reaching for the phone. "Dad!" I cried. He turned around and looked straight at me. "Dad," I cried again. I ran towards him as he came toward me. Then I was in his arms. We hugged for a while and then I asked where Katie and Kathryn and Jessie were. They were all in the playroom. When I walked in the playroom, it was like a bomb had just exploded. All the girls, John and Willie ran up to me. I hugged everyone, including Sam and Adam, though they were reluctant about letting me do it. Then I saw mother. I ran toward her and as we met I thought, "I know how to survive on my own, but I prefer being with my family."

The End

Creative Writing Contest

2001 winners